Here Cums the Judge!

Following on from an earlier post on the use of a penis pump, I wondered if there were any other known bizarre or enterprising uses of these devices. I was surprised, or should I say horrified about the case of Judge Donald D Thompson, in Bristow, Oklahoma.

Judge Thompson was charged with using a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others. Daniel Greenwood, a former juror in Thompson's court identifed the sound of the pump because he had seen such devices in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and Dead Man on Campus. In her testimony, a key witness in the trial, former court reporter Lisa Foster, described how she traced an unfamiliar 'sh-sh' sound in the courtroom to her boss, the Judge. Foster alleges that between 2001 and 2003 she saw the judge's penis "12 to 15 times" during trials. She said she was really shocked and kind of scared because it was so bizarre. Who wouldn't be! Foster further testified that during a 2002 trial, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather. A whooshing sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial. "The grandfather was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump. It was sickening," she said. Theresa Clee, a court reporter who had recorded proceedings of one of Thompson's trials in September 2003, testified that she had seen Thompson use hand lotion and fondle himself during the trial. Thompson's pumping proceedings came to an end after Police Captain Mike Reed, testifying in a 2003 murder trial, heard the pump's distinctive whooshing sound during a murder trial and saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe. During a lunch break officers photographed the pump under the desk. According to court records, investigators later checked and found semen on the carpet, the Judge's robes and the chair behind the bench. Here cums the judge, hey! Thompson was charged with four counts of indecent exposure. On June 29, an Oklahoma jury convicted the former Oklahoma district court judge of indecent exposure and according to the North Country Gazette, on August 18 he was sentenced to four years in prison, a year on each of four felony counts. On August 18, 2006, Thompson was sentenced to four years in prison for his The things that make ya go 'Hmmmmmm!' Source: Penis pump judge faces stiff sentence, The Register, Thursday June 29, 2006. Click here to read the Affidavit of the investigator employed by the District Attorney's Office. Mug Shot of Donald D Thompson (Judge), Wikipedia

Dinner Better than Sex!

A report cited in the Melbourne Herald Sun found that young women prefer going out for a romantic dinner or getting a massage to having sex. The Turbo Twenties study, surveyed 570 Australian women in their 20s, and also found that financial security and travelling the world were their most important priorities. About 30 per cent of participants said they preferred a romantic dinner to bedroom action, while a further 22.5 per cent rated a massage as better than sex. Only 16.6 per cent said they would rather have sex. Study author Tania Farrelly said she was surprised at the number of women preferring to forgo sex in favour of other pursuits. "We thought they would still be right into it at that age," Ms Farrelly said. Looks like I'm in the minority, how bout you? However, I have to say that I just wonder about these types of surveys. I mean, is a sample size of 570 sufficient to draw such conclusions? Would the results be different for different age groups?

Penis Pump Accident

Earlier in September a 42-year-old man was rescued after a motorway crash in the Slovakian town of Levice. Rescuers were shocked when they attended the crash scene only to find the unconcious driver, half naked and with a vacuum pump attached to his penis. According to police he ignored a "give way" sign and crashed into a bus. The man was taken to hospital with "head" injuries. Source: The Register This story reminds me of the man who, in August, was questioned by a female security guard while passing through airport security at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport en route to Iraq via Turkey with his mother and two small children. WHen the 29-year-old was questioned about a suspicious looking small black squeezable rubber object in his carry-on bag, to avoid his mother's attention and potential embarrassment from being known to use sexual aids he whispered in her ear that it was a "pump". However, due to his Middle Eastern accent the guard misheard it as "bomb", with inevitable consequences.